Could use a wish right now.

I don’t want it. I don’t want to experience it. This is not the first time I told you, nor do I think it will be the last. I can only hope that things will change, and you will change. Change to respect what I want. I’ve tired myself out. Worn myself out.  I don’t know how else I can say this to you. I don’t know how many more times I can try. I hate it. I simply hate it. Don’t ask me why. I just do. The feeling is derogatory. Why don’t you understand? Why do you hurt me? Why do you not give me the satisfaction of my presence with you?  Of my time with you? Am I not worth it?  Make me happy. Make me smile. Make me want to come back again. 

What?

Have you ever been in a situation where some one's speaking to you so intently, and no matter how hard you tried you just couldn't keep up? It's as if you know your supposed to be listening to what the other person is saying but you just can't concentrate! you keep drifting to the show that's going to come on at 9pm, or what your going to wear at your friends party tomorrow, and sub-consciously you keep nodding your head to tell the other person that you physically seem to be comprehending, where as you have no clue what the other person is talking about and in the end when that person asks you something, you suddenly snap back to reality and all you can say is "I'm sorry,what"?.