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Vanity is Bliss

It’s been forever, I know, but I just don’t seem to be having time. 
As much as I'd constantly been reminding me that my blog was garnering cobwebs, I never got around to it.

These last 2 months have been insane. Not entirely on the work front as most people might obviously assume, but on the socializing front. *so productive* right?

Then there came along a slack point. 
As all relationships and excessive good times carry along in the background. 

It’s a blind spot.  

Things slow down, interactions become less, and there’s a silent eeriness in the group no one is willing to disturb.

Having hype around is soul-heartening. 
Restlessness I cannot handle. I must either be in drama, or creating one. Not having either by my side makes me want to curl up into myself and explode into a wall. 

Exaggerating much? Maybe. 

Either it’s for one thing, or another, I MUST be out, allowing myself to be pulled into the addictive entertainment outside of my work life.

There are times when I feel so lost though. I don’t know where I 
belong. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be the way I am. I go into inept debates with my brain and come to temporary conclusion that I should just shut up and stay oblivious to my surroundings.

It doesn’t happen.

I start to question whether or not I belong to the cliques I’m with. I question my standpoint towards situations. My wind whirls and tumbles into a dark hole and I scrunch up hating the world for making me feel this way.

I try to un-plug the little nagging notes of contemplation away and imagine myself on the beach.

Alone. No worries. Just me and my peace-filled thoughts. What fun is there in that again?

I’m turning bi-polar.

I need to sit back and relax. Be happy with what I have and not worry about irrelevant editions of stupidity that I cannot revolutionize.

I am above all – is what I should I think to make myself feel better about the non-responsive of the current state of affairs.

Yes, I think I'll do that.

Vanity is bliss.


  1. I can actually relate to what you are going through. A place i belong to, i'm still searching for it. I'm at the exact same point of my life too. And i don't think you're turning Bi-Polar, It's just a point where it happens to all of us. Just try to take it easy girl. Just go along with the flow ya'know? Everything turns out fine most of the time, 'cept for a few screwed-up cases like myself xD

    1. Haha you're not a screw up. Don't worry.
      It's frustrating to know you're too "unique" to fit in ANYWHERE.

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  3. I know how you feel, but though it is cliche, it always gets better; you just have to wait.


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