Neutrality

Back to blogging feels good. I’ve been missing something although I’ve been occupied since my coming home.

This voice at the back of my mind – in a low rumbling tone keeps reminding me like a low bass gong at least twice during the day that a blog of mine has started to form cobwebs.

What I’ve realized about myself is that I tend to react a little too quickly. [I’ve realized it a long time ago but decided to acknowledge it now]

I am the executer in the discussion and if I’m mad, you better stay out of my way.

I wish I could hold in that anger and not feel guilty about it, but no.  

I am quick to anger and quick to tranquil. The gap in between sets my head whirling into endless conversation possibilities that I should say further to make my point lucid.

I’m a rational person [or so I think]. I try to think of misunderstandings as small issues but when it’s about me, everything is a big deal. I’m perfect. [*shrugs*] #deuces.

Ever since my return, my infuriations have not ceased to a more mature approach.

I realize I shouldn’t have said things.

I get over MOST of the juvenile situations that aggravate me, within a day. The subsequent 24 hrs becomes my thinking period and I feel bad, [close to regret] about what I said the previous day.

Could have been a little harsh. [no, duh]

What distresses me is that sometimes people accommodate my bi-polarity.

Them being amiable kills me.

I’ve apologized to the people I might have tormented over silly topics and my new self-declaration is to now keep calm under hostile situations and wait for a day to pass.

Yet if my fury doesn’t subside, then it definitely is something serious.

[I am making the effort in case you think I’m being obstinate and supercilious]

My new motto: Neutrality for 24 hours.