My Cold & A Rubber-band

Normally I tend to wake up around 730 am, go down, have my tea, take a bath, breakfast and then work. Today morning was supposed to be the same, but because of my cold it wasn’t. I get colds at the slightest change in weather. Bad immunity? Maybe. So I have been suffering endlessly since yesterday. I came home, fever starting to brew in me. Mum gave me a high dose pill and I slept like a log.

It was all fine, but when I got up, still feeling like the pill was working itself, it was 820.

 My head hurt. I ran downstairs to have my morning tea and asked mum why she couldn’t wake me up earlier. She wanted me to take rest. Mum’s. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling all that great even after the pill. Like the world was spinning in front of me, I still decided to get ready for work (cause I love what I do).

Managing the day wouldn’t be a big deal, but my parents thought otherwise.

I come down, and my sister (who has a holiday for an exam tomorrow) told me not to go, trying to make me believe that I was so un-well I could faint any second. Not taking much notice to her dramatic statement, I went into the kitchen. Mum was making lunch for me and at the same time was telling me not to go to work. What is it with everyone? I am fine. I’ll manage it. All the while, during the process of my lunch-making she was telling me to call in sick.

 NO mom, you made lunch for me. I have to go for that atleast.

 I was asking for a rubber band to tie this newspaper; in the background of all the endless denials towards me. My need was subjugated. Then my sister goes up to my dad and tells him I’m not feeling well. 

Dad, being extremely cautious would not stand for a second if my health hindered, let it be a cold, or even the slightest paper cut. 

"Don’t go". Simple. The same words I’ve been hearing for the last 20 minutes.

I have a deadline at work.

 I still needed the rubber band to tie the newspaper around my lunch box (because it would leak otherwise and I keep forgetting to buy Tupperware). Now slightly increasing the pitch I asked for it.

Dad tells me to keep my voice down or I’ll lose energy. Everyone’s talking at once about how I can miss one day of work and how the entire company isn’t only running on profits because of me.

My rubber band.

 Go find it, it’s somewhere in the back.

 Fed up, I left them to their talking and mutual agreement against me. Could not find it. My sister starts her act again and for the last time I ask for the rubber band. Everyone now has finished complaining how I don’t look after my health and in my face decide for me I should stay at home and take rest. (Although that led me to this).

 I slammed by box down on the table. It’s been decided. I’m not going anywhere.

 So much for the rubber band now.

Looking Out

As I sit, eating the puff that was given to me, I look at the huge grilled, netted window; It's 615pm.  The rain coming to an end, the sun made a guest-appearance for the evening, indicating the last life it had for the day. It shined lazily trying to complete a formality. The sky was not all grey and hues of pink streaked it. 

Bored, I looked out and I don’t know if the tree was always like that or whether the lime green leaves just happened to pop out amidst the color variation, but it seemed like a familiar setting.

 A puppet setting. When I was a kid I used to watch shows that had this kind of setting. 

The grey and pink sky looking velvety and the tree looking like it was made of clay. It seemed unrealistic... 

Just a stare at the limited scenery I had in front of me took me to a moment I rarely bring back, except when my mum talks about them. I’m sure she missed the younger, more innocent me.  

I always seem to drift away to long lost thoughts when I’m occupied with subservient assignments. Makes me feel like I’m doing something sensible, something that will lead to another blog at least, although I shouldn't. Yet I am, and I write, although stacks of documents in front of me wait to be checked.

 My colleague passes from behind to take a few things and I quickly change back to the word screen the second he turns his back. 

 Trying for a proper ending to this sudden post, I think. I can’t manage to write a befitting ending to it. Maybe I should just end it as abruptly as I started it.

Drift To The Barren

 I look far and beyond in my mind and find my imagination takes me to lonesome ruined places. Places where nothing exists. There was a once for it, now it is hollow. Although it’s sunny, and the water runs under the small walkover bridge, although the grass is green and the trees are standing, there is incompleteness. A black void has been created over the times. A distress that can’t be covered by just positioning the good entities there. There is no life where my mind takes me. I don’t know why I ventured out there … I don’t know why I dared to cross the periphery but I have, and the vicinity I am in does not intimidate me for I know I am not being watched by anything. My only companion being my shadow, I walk forward to the top of the green hill. Everything seems superficial. There is no soul here, I reach the top and look far ahead at the barren land. Nothing. 

Melancholy engulfs the lifeless panorama. The wind seems to blow past me and stops as soon as it touches the dreary land. This part I would not have seen had I not walked up and to see the view. How things look deceitful from far. I knew something was wrong with this place but why did I decide to see it for myself? I have wandered far enough to realize that a miserable path lies in front of me shall I choose to cross the invisible barbed border between the foot of the hill and the lifeless beyond. I know better than to think of what would happen in case I traverse. I turn around, and walk down the hill. The eeriness not failing to leave during any moment of my stay. A portal to where I initially came from stands , echoing me to walk back through, to reality, to a safe place, and I give a one last look to my uncanny involvement from behind and walk through the gateway.

A Tribute.

Friend. 

During work - Sakshi (right) & I (obviously to the left)

This one word comes out of everyone’s mouth at least once a day, sometimes more loosely than the actual meaning of it and sometimes not,as well as sometimes being pointed at to something that might not be of the same species at all!  For example, the ball was Tom Hank’s best friend in Cast Away, and Hachiko’s best friend was a human, the young boy’s only friend in the end was the stump from the Giving Tree. 

A friend can be anything, anyone.  

It reads : "To: The B, Rockstars, <3 Sakshi :*"

Today, I write to you to honor my best friend Sakshi.  She has been with me through all the ups and down and handled my craziness from the very start to the end. If there is something she doesn’t know, it’s probably nothing.  On the event of friendship day I looked back to all those years and smiled at the gradual understanding of the word “friend”. Friend ship day, then, was all about the number of bands I got and how much I was able to show them off. Once I was out of school did I realize that it wasn’t the number of bands but rather the number of real friends I’ve had and the number real friends I should try to maintain around me. They are my force-field and I know that no one can pierce it if they’re there.

It reads: " Happy friendship day!! We'll always be together and ROCK
the world with our crazinessand give SHOCKS to people!!
P.S. I hope you know what the 'B' stands for ;)

Although our friend ship is only 2 years old, it has become strong enough to last a lifetime and for that I am grateful. Being the sweetheart she is, she took up time to make me a card and I am now showing it off here. We are just as major contrasts to each other as we are similar. We gel and that’s all that matters.

Paint-made heart.

Sakshi, thank you so much for being my best friend and my support all the way, and although this might be a minuscule tribute, it is meant ONLY for you and for the long years ahead that awaits our craziness. 
Love you babe. <3

Being 20.

My birthday was this week (27/7) and that's right I’m 20!!! Lost my teenity and I’m feeling a little bad about it. Once I hit 20 I know that people are going to look at me differently but it doesn’t work like that. As soon as the clock strikes 12 I’m not transformed into this adult. It takes time for the teen-ness to wear off. I’m just me. Just a year older. Only the number changed. I don’t know. I kind of feel cool that I’m 20, but at the same time I know I’m nearing events I don't want to go to just yet. (another story all together) I still want to be 16 (dream on, I know). Anyway, since I’m 20, let’s talk about how I managed to make it memory worthy.

I didn’t really want to have a huge party. As you grow old, you want people who really care for you to be around. I had just that this time but still, there was a small thought stuck at the back of my head constantly making me wonder about something.

You call a person to a party, and you expect them to come (obvious case with everyone) but the list I made had a set of people I really wanted to come and a set of people who if they'd come would have been nice but not coming wouldn't have really made a difference. (Yea, I know, why even call them in the 1st place, still I don't know. if I’m called to their parties I see it as an implied obligation to call them back. #politeness). So...up until the last 2 days I was making the list, fussing about my dress, and after checking out a million outfits I decided on one, rather 2 but oh well (you only see one outfit here though). 

The list. When I was making it I was sure that all the people who I really wanted to come would, cause I’m turning 20 and it’s a huge number. I thought it would be great. Things started taking a dip when one after the other my friends started backing out AFTER they had promised they'd come. It hurts my feelings. Some of them even called me on my birth-day and told me they couldn't make it. Made me feel a little angry too. I couldn’t help it. I tried all ways to convince them but no. some of them just couldn’t make it. I wasn’t really excited after wards when my original plan of 15 turned to 10.

Why would you do that?! 

I have friends who will stick by me no matter the situation and its complexity. They showed up. I LOVE THEM FOR THAT and let me tell you that the only reason my party seemed as interesting as it was, was only cause of them. 

I was all the happier when my school (middle-school) friends showed up, although late, I was content. It was a simple party. A little bowling, and little eating, a little socializing. All in all, I had fun and I really hope that all my friends who came had just a good time too. 

When I came home, it was family picture time and we took it along with our 2 doggies (Rocky & Juni). :D

It was a nice day.

To all those who couldn’t come, it’s sad and although it doesn’t effect you it did hurt my feelings. I will get over it but next time I won’t expect too much. 

All smiles.

A First Time Experience, 2 Parties & A Stolen Wallet

Okay...now what happened this week? Umm...let’s see...2 parties, a stolen wallet and a 1st time experience.

Honestly, I can't remember all the details over the past week and although I know it’s ONLY just been a week, I still can’t grab the small bits. #pityme.

Any ways,

June 29th:

Did not go to office on that day. I was late because of some reason and I realized I was just not in the mood to go to office with such a lazy start to my day.  Got down and met up with my friend. It was 11am and we had nothing to do. Sat at a bakery, I ordered a shake while he looked on at me and then decided the only thing we could do to pass the time was to go for a movie. What could be the saddest part of someone’s life when you have the bloody time to watch a movie but there isn’t anything good enough to watch? Actually watching the out-dated movies again. So that is what we did. after a huge debate on whether to travel to the other end of the city for a better movie, we decided to settle at where we were and watch the movie out till the next movie (that I liked and waned o watch) would start. 

The 1st movie was okay, and as soon as we finished it, rushed out and went to the other movie theatre, got our tickets and sat in front of the big screen again. A little window shopping after that, fight with my friend, headache, and I was home. Probably got it from the continuous watching that day.

July 1st:

That day was just so random and unplanned. I was actually just planning on lazing at home but then my sister had a movie plan with one of her friends and I had to drop here there. no point in coming back all the way from the city with absolutely nothing done, no that would be a remarkable waste of an opportunity which I could exploit to my advantage keeping my sister as an excuse. So...I met up with my friends. To be honest, I didn’t really like the plan. it was to go bad look for my friends b-day dress, and I wasn’t really keen on the idea but I didn’t have anything to do (so much for me exploiting my situation) so I tagged along. as usual, my friend made me wait 20  minutes before she could get out and we both headed to GVK1 ( big shopping mall /multiplex/ club zone). Waited and then my friend '(bday girl) and her friend came. And then, it was window shopping and a little bit of actually shopping the while day. It was just wwooop one shop...then wooop another and then we were done with the mall, and so we headed off to another one. It was fun. We had lunch at this unusual place at the other mall "chowpati" and did a little more of what was planned. While we were looking around a foreigner came up to ask us if the bag she was buying was worth 900 rupees. We said no. and the bag forget the quality, looked hideous. We talked for a while about stuff since she started the conversation, and we all ended up having one extra contact that day. Weird. I know. This stuff always happens to me (see my last post to know why).  .,

So this is what happened basically and after all that, I had to pick my sister up and then go home. End of that day’s story, oh, and my feet were KILLING me.

July 3rd:

Don't ask me about 2nd. Wasn’t that great.  My friend’s bday. Had no idea till I was reminded by my colleague / best friend (intern colleague). Called him up immediately and wished him a very happy birthday.  I was told of a plan, I...e meet up at pizza hut at 4. No way was that going to work out. Then in about a half hour the venue was changed to a bowling alley, which I so much more preferred. Time was a problem. All the interns were invited, and no one could make it before 5. It was planned that 10 of us would be there and we would have fun. But people started backing out one by one citing some reason. Some of them didn’t like the venue and requested me to ask my friend to change it according to their likes. Umm, his bday guys, not yours. I didn’t ask him because that would just sound so dumb. So finally, my best friend and I, after finding out that no one else was going to the party, decided we should show up and spend some time with him. Poor guy was waiting at the alley all alone for an hour and although we showed up late, at least we showed up. The 3 of us. I felt bad for him. It definitely was not expected to turn out that way. Chucking it, we had fun by ourselves through bowling, which is now my new-found hobby (although I suck at it).

July 4th:

A happy birthday to :

Aamani - 18 

 Harika - 26 

& Namratha - 22  <3

July 5th:

MY WALLET GOT STOLLEN. omg. That heart-failing feeling you get when you don’t find your wallet in your bad. I felt it people. I felt it. And I was shivering. Why would someone shiver if they lost their wallet? Okay, well they would if they had like really important things in it, and although what I had in it wasn’t that much, I liked the wallet. It was a gift from my my sister. :(

I know my bag was zipped up when I got down and I was waiting at the door for around  a minute till my stop came so if it was open, one of the million people standing behind should have freaking told me. BUT NO. Either it wasn’t unzipped then or people have just gotten meaner. Either way.  I get down and run and get into the next bus in front of me and I realize my bag is open when I’m supposed to take my wallet out to pay for my ticket. $#%* I jump out of the bus and walk back and forth panicking. I know. Lame ting to do but I did it anyways. Called up my friend, asked her to pick me up. Called my other friend ask what I should do. Crying at the bus stop and then after a million calls and texts I cool down, and get my head straight.  I have cash in my other zip. I take an auto and go tow work, call the bank people and block my card. As for my precious wallet, no replacement, my mum’s photo-I have another and my 500, well I made some random guys day.

To make things ironic, I got my cheque that day too.

July 6th:

Me, Aamani ( Birthday girl ) , Katyayani, aka Kathie ( My sister)

It was my other friend’s bday on the 4th and she didn’t have time to meet me. I didn’t want to meet her for the party; I wanted to meet cause it just been that long. Recap: we are colony friends since 2004 and they were our first neighbors and practical our first friends so the attachment is understandable. Since we've moved, we haven’t been meeting like before. #obviously. So yea she’s real busy with college and I’m busy with college and work so we don’t get time. So I made a hard standing plan that we would meet no matter what on the 6th and we did. My sister and I are and her sister and she were all ready to hang out. 830 pm at CCD. I know...completely off the radar time for them to meet anyone but we were an exception. We went, ordered, ate...and took a lot of pictures and THEN it started to rain. It was pouring like crazy and my face turned into a ball of disgust. BOOM. Out goes the electricity as well.  Can things get any worse? Yes. we go almost up to my place, and then my friends dad decides that we aren’t going to do anything at home any ways so he turns the car back around to their house where we are trapped till the rain stops and all me and my sis wanted to do was go home and SLEEP. What was even more difficult for us to comprehend was why did he have to go and put the car back inside again when he knew he was going to drop us after the rain stopped? The electricity came back almost immediately and then Mr.S wasn’t in the mood to drop us so he suggested we stay back for the night. UHH...NO. Sorry. I can’t. It raining...I’m wet...I want to change into warm clothes and sleep in my nice bed. My sister had an exam so her excuse was a much better one for me to use.  Ultimately he drove us home after having no choice (I bet he was regretting the moment he decided to park back his car) and came up to talk to my dad. They talk about a bunch of things when they meet and it was already 945 pm. we said by to Mr. S at 1200 am. Had loads to talk I guess.

July 8th:

My other friend’s bday. It was all planned; we would meet, go for bowling, lunch, do some whatever and then leave. I call her up to wish her and my reply is that the plan is cancelled. Didn’t tell that at home, so I acted as if it were still there and headed to one of the malls in Hyderabad, being one f the biggest malls out of Andhra Pradesh for the very 1st time! No, I dint not go alone (that would be impossible). INROBIT. All the way at the other end of the city and my friend and I went there. We wanted to watch brave, but houseful. Its okay.1st time here, I should explore. So we had lunch, and walked around the mall and end into every shop along the way. So crazy. The only time we stopped to sit somewhere was a t a book shop where although we had the Guinness book of world records in our hands which we finished going through in like 10 seconds, we talked about some random things. Got up, and left for fun centre (kind of like chucky cheese). I wanted to go bowling but we were running out of time. Grabbing a cold coffee we headed out and to put the blue berry on top, we got a nice empty air conditioned bus that took us all the way back home.

And although I’m so tired after today, I still managed to type all this, so everyone .appreciate me, and do so by promoting this post. :P lol. Jk. just leave a comment if you have anything to say!!

When I Dance

                                                                                                                         

   I want to dance.                         

 I want to let my hair down and move my body.

I don’t’ care whose watching me, I don’t care if they think I’m crazy

Dance is my ecstasy.

The music pumps energy into me and I’m drugged.

I go wild.

I scream, I laugh and I just let go.

I will dance till my drive lets me

and there will be no denial.......... when I dance.