Hey 2013!

Happy New Year guys!

Thirst

Thirst

Night times are the worst. It’s the hour of danger, and in my case, it’s the hour of thirst.

I drink water before I go to bed, although it’s recommended that we don’t.  

I keep a full glass of water on my table and fall asleep but sometime during the night, I awaken – to thirst.

The dryness constricts my throat and my impulse forces me to jerk up and stretch over to the glass.

I sleep.

....

I wake up once more for another gulp that I know will end the contents of the glass.

I sleep again....

.....

....

..... only to be awakened.

I know the glass is empty.

I must now take off the blanket that I am ever so protected beneath and expose myself to the chill beyond my room.

I feel like a zombie now, not able to see what is before me I bump slightly into the wall on the way out.  Heading into the kitchen I don’t turn on the light as the pain to turn it off will haunt me in the seconds I’m there.

I fill my glass assuming the water reached the rim and walk out carefully. 

On the way in, I bump into the wall again.

I can’t comprehend what ever feeling of hurt I might have undergone because my brain is dead and my eyes refuse to stay apart.

Slamming the glass down, I fall onto my bed allowing myself to be entangled within the sheets to a not so perfect sleep.

You Have Been Banished.

Talking about my vacation is probably not a good idea.  Why? When I have to explain something so vast, I’d have to make sure I won’t miss out on any details and it’s such an enormous thing to write about. 

If I did miss something, it would be incomplete and I’m paranoid that everything requires an explanation or the essence of that event is not justified.  Hence, I will not be writing about my vacation [which I am currently still on and enjoying].

Realization. 

Sometimes good, sometimes bad.  8 years does a lot to a person. It changes them for the better and sometimes it changes them for the worse.  

What was I thinking when I thought people would be as ecstatic as me? Was my assumption of them throwing everything aside to meet me a little over the top?  

I know a lot of people and a lot of people did I wish to visit.  Only some stayed true to their feelings and the others decided to not let me know either way.  

That hurt me. 

When you said you’d do something and then go off the grid, it leaves me confused if not frustrated.  Why would you say something like that and then decide to not communicate later? 

When I came here, I was happy. 

Happy that maybe people have grown up and changed, but no.  People have grown meaner.  I had to erase some of them when I came here and although it was painful, I realized that you shouldn’t treat someone like a celebrity. 

Some of us are on very different levels.

I higher than them. Vanity? No. just the facts of life laid across in front of me.

What can I do? 

Nothing.

Accept it, never look back and move on.  My real friends told me to not worry about it.  I am grateful for the remaining friends I have here who always genuinely looked forward to meeting me. 

Why did I think I needed to be associated with everyone else? I don’t know.

I am here right now, with the people who want to be with me. I am with people where our feelings our mutual.

My advice? Do not run around people who you have to constantly remind about your presence.

I can’t wait to meet the rest of my friends, and I mean my real friends.

As for you, you have now been banished from my life.

The Walk

A cartoony making his way across the sidewalk and back.  Nothing more to it. Why did I want to do it?  I don't know.

There are times when I want to do the weirdest of the weirdest things, I get too fascinated with something and doing it becomes my temporary life goal. 

Therefore, this video.  

Enjoy

Another Stupid Encounter

There are times when guys act so insensitive that I start to question all of guy-kind’s mentality.  Although I’ve addressed many situations with a duller than a dead corpse response, today's incident was just insensitive, so pathetic that to address it would bring me down to lowest level of foolishness.

I’m on Facebook, just like the other millions of people, minding my own business (and watching others since it’s so publicly out there).  Maybe my mind wasn’t in the right place when I added him but I did add “ Person X” just because the mutual friends were quite high. 

  And so I forgot about him like I do to a lot of people I don’t generally know more than by mere recognition of face.

A conversation sparks off like this :

Person X: Hey hottie

Me : I’m sorry, I don’t really know you [which is kind of weird since I did end up adding him]

Person X: You don’t know me???? Everyone knows me.

Me: I don’t.

Person X: That’s okay; you’re a mutual friend of Person Y

Me: Yea so? Do I know you personally? [I at this point realized I knew him but decided to not give in since I really wanted him to bring his precious ego down]

Person X: Does that matter?

[Desperateness now creeps in]

Me: Yes it does. Were you in my school?

Person X: I was called SPT. [Initials changed]

Me: Oh, so you are 5 years senior to me, I remember now that I saw you once or twice in school

Person X: Exactly. So how are your friends? How is Person Z, are you in touch with her?

[At this point, I wanted to take out a saw and butcher his neck.  Forget asking how I was, but rather jumped into how my friends were.  If that was what he wanted to know, Facebook has invented something called a “search box” that allows its users to search for people and directly message them.  How his brain hasn’t evolved is not a matter of shock to me but yet it pleased me to know that I had thought right about him]

Me: <No reply>

Person X : >.<

Me: <No reply>

Person X: ok fine, bye.

Me: <No reply>

30 seconds later ….

Person X: You look really different [An attempt to revive the conversation]

Me:  (:

THE END

Don’t let guys like that have the info they want.  It’s an insult to your intelligence.  Flick them away like you’d snap your fingers.

A Visit Back To The Old World

Hello everyone!  My apologies for a very late post.  I've just been very busy with the packing and the travel which has now led me, after a day’s flight, in Canada! 

It's been a week since I came, and yes, the thought should have crept into my head, that my blog does exist to be updated, but my excitement of coming back in 8 years prevented me to do anything but give out occasional screams - a reaction to the reality I’m in now.

Etihad Airways was kind, if not a little cramped.  I ended up watching movies the whole time- a catch up.  The food was alright, although I did expect more than just plain butter on my bread. Jam was not up to my expectation.  

I was thinking more on the lines of macaroni and cheese.

Abu Dhabi was our stop-over. Clicked a picture of this architectural refinement here. If only all buildings were made as such.  Walking through the airports brought back the times of when I walked the same to another outlandish country that I never dreamt of living in.  It was always a thought thrown here or there amidst the conversation the grown-ups used to  have, but life settled in, and now I walk back.  Nostalgia, maybe. 

Back again on Etihad Airways to make my way to Toronto - the unfinished story of a 6th grader.  To meet friends who were always with me, and just to meet others to see how the rest of Chester was doing was what I longed to see the most.  

Progression, how much has it overcome them, how far have they trodden, and how far have I come? What had happened since I left?  So many miniscule yet significant things I needed to know to bring closure. 

 Containing it became difficult as the plane landed at the Toronto airport,  My then-escape from 6th grade’s mean remarks and utterly low, but considered high expectations.  Back to continue where I left off? No.  

Coldness.  The first thing I could feel and think of.  I forgot how cold this place used to be, yet again we forget so much in such short amount of time, this was nothing.  

Walking out of that terminal and out to meet my dad who was waiting, we went home. 

I am excited for what Canada has to give back to me, and what I have to give back to her.

Day #7374

My creative juices have become immobile. I don’t know why.

 In the past I had this urge to blog about everything that offended me on my way to work, at work, college and on the way back home.

 I guess I’ve become lax.

 I seem to not take things personally. Maybe I’m losing my connection with the real world, something like being absorbed in the future I always look forward to by neglecting the present. 

How is that possible when I’m living in the contemporary?

 Going through the twinge of seeing absurdness every day and not being able to throw everybody over the railing is putting me on the brink.

 I’m drifting away.  Not giving into the addictive web of prejudicial-interest that everyone around me seems to enjoy.

I’m tired, yet I write, knowing that somehow this might be the only productive piece I can think of in who knows how long again.

I want a cookie. Chocolate. If I could think that and someone brought me one sensing my telepathic needs, I’d grin, on the inside of course.

Don’t want to give out how surprised I look when they realize I don‘t know how to use my own powers.

It rains. Has been for the last week or so, making the days dis-heartening.  I step out, stare at the sky that gives it’s puffy grey smile, I come to that conclusion where somehow the white parts are the sky’s gums. Blue’s brother, grey.

*Sigh*

Mother Nature, control your kids.

I wait for my hot coffee, to stop the headache I’ve been having since I came home, I doze off instead on my cold bed, trying to look up and think about vital issues of the world.

 Nothing seems more relevant than to just close my eyes and dive into the world of the un-real.

Oh, and I did watch Alice in Wonderland yesterday.